On hold.

Hey everyone, how is everyone doing?

I’m sorry to say this (not like anyone really cares) but I’m going to be putting my blog on hold until I get better with my depression. I haven’t found the heart to type or really do anything.

I’m sorry.

♡ Jes.

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Memories.

I seriously thought I had posted this already but here we go again!!

Hey everyone! How are you on this beautiful night? I have officially decided that I will just become a late night blog type of person. lol Late at night is when i’m the most awake and not having anything to really be in my way of posting. Sooo welcome this late night blogger to the club of late night bloggers (if there is one). haha Anywho onto my late night thought that turned into a memo on my phone turned into this post!!

What does smells, sounds, places, and certain things do? They bring back memories.
A smell can bring back a memory of sitting in a car late at night on top of the highest hill in San Francisco. A sound can bring back a memory of listening to your favorite music with someone you were close to. A place that you visit can bring back a memory of being happy in a time that you didn’t think you could be happy. A certain thing like driving down a long road can bring back a memory of driving with someone from your past and them being shocked that you can handle being in a fast car.

Memories are a funny thing sometimes, they pop up at the most random times, they can either make you happy or break you. I love memories, the good and the not so good ones that make me somewhat sad. They make me relive the moments that I wish I could revisit and redo. The memories also have taught me to appreciate the smaller things in my life that I still do have.

I truly believe that memories are something that make or break us. They can make us appreciate were our life is headed or memories can hold us back and keep us from reaching for what we need in life.

Please keep in mind to not let the bad memories hold you back. Remember the good memories will always be there, just don’t compare today memories to those other good memories because they are from 2 different parts in your life.

I just wanted to get this put on here and out of my head. So I hope you enjoyed my memories and let me know what brings up memories for you.

♡ Jes.

Lover.

Hey everyone how is your night/day going? My night is going amazing!!! I am finally being able to sit down and enjoy Lover by Taylor Swift!!! If you know me, then you know I am a huge Swiftie (what Taylor’s fans are called). It has been almost 11 years since I became a Swiftie, thanks to the Love Story music video.

Through these past 11 years Taylor has truly became someone that I look up to and she has became one of my best friends (even if I don’t know her personally). Almost 9 years ago when I was going through a tough time in my life, she was there. During the happy times she was there. She brought some of the best people that I know into my life. I am just truly grateful for her!

I am sitting down typing this at 11:01pm on 8/23/19, the release date of her album Lover! and crying my eyes out like a damn baby. If you listen to Soon You’ll Get Better, you will understand. I love all her albums and songs but there is just something about this cd, that makes me love it even more and put it on a higher level than the others.

I think it is because at this time in my life, I am at a good place with my depression and everything at this time in my life is at a good place. There is always something that I wish could be a lot better but at this time I just have to pray to God for them. Anywho… I think with this album, as it is a new start for Taylor with being able to own her own music, I feel like this is also a new start for me and my life. I hope you all get a chance to listen to Lover and love it just as much as I do.

Why did I get all four versions at once? You really want to know? Oh.. well my friends didn’t convince me not to. haha It was the best $74.10, I have ever spent at Target! I am so happy I did it, at first I did regret it because I am going to an antique fair on Sunday, but once they were in my hands I didn’t care anymore. haha

I hope you all have an amazing wonderful (hopefully Taylor filled) night!!

♡ Jes.

I caved and bought all 4 versions at once.

*These 2 songs are the ones I am hooked on!!

The song that I fell in love with second
The first song I fell in love with!

Priorities, Privacy, Life.

Hey everyone! How are you doing this beautiful late night (you are probably sleeping lol)? I am currently on a typing roll and up at 1:30 am (8/23/19) aka quiet time for me to be able to do this.

I have been trying so hard to be better at a lot of things by prioritizing my life better and I have honestly no motivation to do that anymore. Schedules do work for me in different aspects of my life but not with being able to run a blog.

I usually…. no I always question if I should continue this blog but then I think of how much I am able to get out on here when I am being able to type. No matter if you guys see these posts or the ones I hide from plain view, I am freely able to type whatever I want and be okay with getting out my feelings.

Yes, I don’t usually post a whole lot of personal things on here but I have my reasons and some may say they are crazy but it is my choice.

Privacy is truly power.
Not to sound like a bitch, but this is true ^! *Also not my pictures.

I just feel as a lot of things lately that have been changing in my life really have changed the way I look at the world and have changed the way I view everyday and living in general. I just am really trying to figure out a lot of things in such short amount of time, even though I know I it all needs to be done slowly over time.

I hope you all enjoy my ramble of a post started last night. This weekend I will try to get out more of my posts that I have hidden in drafts. lol

I hope you have a _____ night.

♡ Jes.

Beautifully Imperfect.

Hey everyone, how are you on this amazing evening? I am currently with A enjoying some quiet time while he plays video games before bed. I can’t believe how much I haven’t been on here.

I know I keep saying ” oh i’ll be better at typing… I promise… oh i’m so sorry, I haven’t been on.” It isn’t that I don’t want to be on here or type, I try but every time I get a post done, I delete it because I don’t think it is good enough. Also, I don’t find enough time in my day to pull out my laptop to type and I hate to type a blog post on my phone, it isn’t really fun to me. I’d rather be reading on my phone than typing, I save the typing to my laptop or really anytime I can get on a computer.

This post though… I promise to post! Even if I think it sucks at the end. Anywho… onto the meaning of today’s title of this post.

Life is truly beautifully imperfect. You can feel that you have everything in life that you will ever need and then something will come out from behind it and smack you right in the face. It’ll let you know the one thing you are truly missing, but don’t really need is around you just laughing at you.

I like to look up the definitions on the word that I use for throughout my post and I get a lot of things for beautifully imperfect, but I then thought of it and was like everyone should have their own definition.

My definition of beautifully imperfect is having everything going good in my life and still not having that one (or two) things that would make a girl really happy.

Yes, I have things that make me happy and content in life and I am happy with where I am at in life & who is in my life but there is always that one (two) little thing(s) missing. I have accepted my life as it is and all I hope and pray for is that I receive what I am missing in life but I will be 100% okay if I don’t receive it.

What makes your life beautifully imperfect? I would love to hear… well read what makes your life beautifully imperfect.

Have a _____ night everyone!!

♡ Jes.

It has been so long!

Hi everyone! It has been so long since I have typed anything! I have been trying to get my life somewhat decently on a schedule and just trying to see where I can fit all the things I do in a 16-17 hour day. It isn’t easy when some days, I am not motivated or have the energy to do much. I can promise you all that I am trying though.

I am going to start with adding a place in my daily schedule of just taking some time to type. Even if I don’t post on the day I start typing, I will try to post at a later date. Hopefully that isn’t months after I started a post!

During my little unplanned hiatus from here, I have really gotten into a grove of morning prayer, writing in my prayer journal, and just being able to enjoy time in my backyard with God. I have this cute little 2 seated area with a side table in my backyard that I love to sit at and pray. I even go out there just to read or get quiet time when needed.

I am currently typing this at Job 1 as always… haha and I am just here trying to fit what I have done, gone through, and just what I am trying to update you all on in my life into one post but I don’t think that is possible. lol

I am just so ready to see some changes happen in my life. Even if I have to do some major changes I will.

I honestly am just sitting here at my desk trying to even figure out what to type or how to update my life to you guys and it is so hard. I have felt really disconnected with everything going on in my life and just trying to keep up with life.

I have had my good and bad days but what is killing me the most is the trying to schedule so many things I want to do (it is only really reading, writing for here, my prayer time, & listening to podcasts) in a day but not really finding the right way to schedule anything.

This weekend though is going to be amazing (hopefully… crossing my fingers)! I am going to be able to hopefully get in 3 days of reading and podcast listening done without interruptions but we will see! Well there is going to be a little interruption on Saturday night called job #2 but I can read there and it’ll be okay.

Well I hope everyone is having a ____ day (you can fill in the blank) & I hope to have another post or starting a new post sooner than later.

♡ Jes.